Welcome back to our regularly scheduled programming…lol.
I took Sunday off, because I needed to have a technology free day. Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, but I spent it cleaning. Cleaning is therapeutic to me, probably because of the OCD. I love nothing more than taking something that is out of order, and putting it into order, or at least my version of it…lol. I did a ton of laundry - washing all of the winter bedding to be put away, and the summer bedding to be put back into use – and I dusted places that haven’t seen a Swiffer in months…lol. Spending the day that way helped to bring me some peace, which I desperately needed.
Monday was just a super busy day at work. Mr. Hope had his own things to do, so I took over the concrete pour. Thank God for my guys! They delivered like they always do, and although it was a very warm day for May, they got the concrete down and finished in record time, and we have a very happy customer because of it.
Back to where I left off last week. We have already established that I am not a patient person, but that when I give things some time, good things will generally come from them. The issue with my images is a great example. I went off the rails when I received the invoice. I believed that I had done my due diligence, confirming with the facility that it would be a no charge visit before scheduling the appointment, and then immediately contacting them when I saw that my insurance had been billed, so to get the invoice made me feel like all of the work that I had done had been a waste of time. In hindsight, I can say that it was not a waste of time. It was another lesson in life that I needed to experience. I just needed to give the situation a little bit of time.
So, let’s talk about the word “soon”…lol. How many of you have watched the series The Chosen, starring Jonathan Roumie? If you have not seen it yet, I would strongly recommend that you check it out. It tells the story of Jesus, but even if you are not a spiritual or religious person, it is very well written and wonderfully cast. It was also, I believe, the largest crowdfunded media project in history, which supported production for its first two seasons. You can catch it on Amazon Prime, or for free on the BTUtv app.
If you have seen the show, you might remember Jesus addressing the word “soon”. He says, “…”soon”, it’s the most imprecise thing in the world. What is “soon?” A few hours? A few days? Years? A hundred years? A thousand years? Ask my Father in Heaven how long a thousand year is. Then talk to me about “soon.”.” Here’s the link to the clip on if you haven’t seen it and would like to...
https://share.google/bb5CC3KPeyaVJveRL
This is what I, personally, need to work to remember. My version of soon isn’t necessarily going to be the same as yours. For better or for worse (and, yes, it is sometimes worse) I am a doer. I always try to respond to a request, or resolve an issue, or do whatever it is that needs to be done immediately, because that is who I am. However, there are times that had I just let the situation sit and marinate for a bit, it would have made things much easier for me, so much so that these things might have worked themselves out on their own!
I feel like I have been fighting a losing battle for the last two years. The trouble with the nightmare project from Hell started when we broke ground the first week of April in 2024, but it really fell apart in mid-May, when the excavation literally fell apart…lol…so it has been two full years of fighting. Fighting to be paid for the work that we tried to prevent, but that inevitably occurred, and we were instructed to perform. Fighting to keep the business alive, while it is being sucked dry by attorney’s fees, interest, and late fees. Fighting to keep my personal finances intact, while supporting the business, because as I said in the beginning, this is my responsibility. I didn’t create the initial mess, but in hindsight, there are many things I should have done differently, and at the end of the day, it is my business, so I am responsible for it. Fighting to save my marriage, because working and living with the same person is not easy! We are two very different people, with very different ideas on how situations should be handled, and work often crosses over into our personal life, especially in this case. This project has done irreparable damage to our marriage, and only time will tell if we come out stronger because of that, or if those holes just remain.
Mostly, though, I have been fighting to stay strong in my faith. I do believe that we are given challenges in life that are meant to teach us the lessons that we are here to learn, and I do not doubt for a second that this is one of mine. I am just, quite honestly, exhausted, and I hope that I learn what I need to learn from it “soon”…lol…so I can move onto the blessing that is waiting for me at the end of this battle!
It isn’t just me. We are all fighting battles every single day, because we all have lessons that we are here to learn. I wish each of you the best in your battles! Just stay strong, and you too will get your blessings “soon”!
While I was writing this, I received an email from my "business banker". This is the same guy that blew me off last spring, when I realized that I was not going to be paid in a timely manner for the nightmare project from Hell...lol...and I needed to restructure the debt. I found out when I made that inquiry that my bank, the one I have been with for almost 30 years, had done more restructuring of their own (they had already closed our local branch the year prior, and then proceeded to close the branch we were referred to a few months after that, making the closest branch a one hour roundtrip drive) and that I had lost Tony, the absolutely amazing business banker I had worked with for the last several years. My local ladies did all that they could to help me, but the new guy just wasn't interested, or chose not to follow through, for whatever reason. The situation was out of my hands, so I just moved on.
Today's email from him reads, "I was reviewing your business and wanted to check in. Are there any upcoming investments or projects planning for this year? A lot of my clients are starting to take a fresh look at their financing and making sure they’re set up properly for what’s ahead, so I wanted to make sure we’re doing the same for you. Happy to connect whenever it makes sense!"
This is a test!!!! My gut reaction is to respond with his emails from last year, where he blew me off, and tell him to f*ck off...lol...but, I am going to sleep on it for a day, maybe two, and then decide if I will respond at all, and if so, what I am going to say, and it won't be to f*ck off. As much pleasure as that would bring the old me, the new me knows that you get more with sugar than with vinegar, and that telling the only business banker I have at the moment to f*ck off isn't in the best interest of my business...lol.
Here's to giving things some time and hoping to see positive results "soon"!
Much love to all of you, with Hope and Faith.